heart
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Dad,
I'm keeping busy to distract myself from grief. I miss when life felt stable. I miss the simplicity of it all. I miss you and mom both.
Why does this heart keep bleeding? I've tried everything to get it back to normal, but nothing has been working. Freezing it makes it go numb, using it makes it gush blood — nothing feels right anymore. I know what I want, but those invisible stairs never end.. Am I still on the right path? I feel like I'm never doing enough.
Time is slipping, I'm decaying, I can't focus, but need to now more than ever. It feels like you're both fading away. I need things to feel normal again, you made so much progress and I never wanted to waste your efforts.
I don't have time, I can't afford time, I can't reverse it. How can I trust myself to build my own happiness when I have so many regrets? It feels like there's a bullet in my chest. I miss what you both had. I miss how well you understood eachother, I miss your unbreakable connection, I miss your devotion until the end..
What am I supposed to do with this life-support tumor before it kills me too? 🫀
Viinyl
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